After decades of serving the New Age and trying literally everything under the sun to find peace within, I prayed the salvation prayer with Rabbi Jonathan Cahn, and was saved while cooking in my kitchen during March of 2019. I continued living without much change besides parting with my Buddha statues and the strange feeling that I now had another controversial label to explain.
During the year and a half prior, I was consistently pleading with the Creator to show me the truth about life. I didn’t care what I would see or what it was. I just needed to know. I had spent my entire life searching and I wanted to know the answers about everything I was missing. I had been on this philosophical quest for over two decades and as soon as I would start down a rabbit hole and feel like I was getting close to the key to life, I would come to a dead end. I was getting into some very complex spiritual areas, which satisfied and fascinated my mind, but no matter how deep I dug, or how committed I was to my meditation practice or who I thought I was channeling, I still felt shallow inside. At that time, I didn’t realize that my answers weren’t holding up because theories and idols and spirits (oh my!) do not hold a candle to a living God… and nothing was fulfilling.
By answering my plea for truth, God blew me beyond the Westernized churches. I went straight from being the Queen of Woo-woo to being saved by a Messianic Jew! It doesn’t get more back to basics than that…
Over the summer, I consciously started reading the Bible from the beginning and was beside myself. I never knew how much God speaks against idolatry, witches and wizardry! This is when big changes started to happen for me and major repentance began.
As I started reading His word and praying for more clarity, I was given the eyes to see and the ears to hear. I had been praying for Jesus to clear the rubble from my life and after some serious revelation, I felt like I had just gotten busted; the evidence was all around me. I had this compulsive desire to scrub the false doctrines out, and I began scouring my life for all things pagan.
As Acts 9:18 declares, the scales fell from my eyes. Everything that I thought was “white” had all of a sudden turned black. I was seeing pagan symbols in my art, clothing, jewelry, and all over my home. I had collected vintage objects from India and other parts of Asia, OM symbols, suns, moons, yin and yang, elves and other random deities. I had collected books about Wicca, tarot, astrology, numerology, angels, I Ching, yoga, aliens, ghosts, Buddhism, Hinduism, Zen – you name it – even voodoo! I worshiped the supernatural.
With that clarity and freedom, I also found the process quite painful. I felt like Alice falling into a new reality as I was clutching onto something huge that was being ripped from inside of me. I was watching my lifelong “identity” falling away, all the while knowing that it had to be done. I had built my life around paganism and idolatry and didn’t even realize it. I knew those terms of course – I had always been an earthy person – but I never put the two together. Me? Pagan? All I could think was, “Why didn’t anyone tell me?!” That’s another story, but it probably wouldn’t have mattered. Demonic tentacles run deep, God has divine timing, and Satan will never give you full disclosure anyway.
Boxes and bags of at least 100 books and a plethora of other items, sat at my front door for weeks before I decided I could let them go. The longer they sat there, the more I felt the enemy lingering around haunting me and I finally built up the energy to say goodbye to all of those lies I had willingly believed.
The oracle cards were the most difficult to throw away – they had been my prime source of guidance for years. They were charming and mystical and I consulted them daily. At that time, I didn’t know that spirits are not supposed to guide you and they were hanging on to me for dear life! Who knew that following your “spirit guide” was pagan 101? Not me. Who knew that I was bowing to gods while performing yoga poses? Not me. Who knew it was completely repulsive and insulting to my Creator when I made beautiful crystal energy grids, owned pictures and statues of foreign deities, and took ques from the spiritual realm? Not me. I had been deceived.
I realized our culture has been drowning in misguided false “wisdom” as our trends continue to be influenced by the enemy whose game is selling lies. I had no clue the enemy would be so wrapped in lying about morality and spiritual practice. But of course – it was written in the beginning. The wicked one has infiltrated into every aspect of our lives.
The majority of the population isn’t stopping to ask the important questions. Do you know where your beliefs and practices originated from? What is the source? Do you know which side are you on? Do you care? And if not, why? Could you be under a spell?
Our culture is broken, infested and insidiously demonized. Every soul is fair game for corruption, especially the ones who default to the dark side for their lack of belief. Everyone knows what the Bible is: Gods living word, saved from book burnings everywhere, in every corner of the world for millennia. How could it survive? Why is time itself based off the birth of Jesus?
Over the past year, I’ve been restructuring how I think and act as a faithful servant of Jesus. I’ve had to correct my thinking, deter from divination, understand what can stay and what must go, and readjust everything I know about life, death and spirituality. It’s challenging to reconstruct an entire belief system, but I am grateful for the knowledge that has come from experiencing both sides. It’s as if I’m enduring spiritual therapy- except this time I’m learning to walk and talk in the light of TRUTH and I’ve been gifted with the best therapist ever known to man.